No. 276 – Jane Says

Performer: Jane’s Addiction

Songwriters: Perry Farrell, Dave Navarro, Eric Avery, Stephen Perkins

Original Release: Jane’s Addiction

Year: 1987

Definitive Version: Kettle Whistle, 1997.

Is there a poppier song that’s actually depressing as hell than Jane Says? The Kettle Whistle version, on the Thurman juke and in heavy rotation in 2002, was the perfect background music for scouting my move to Cleveland.

When I knew I was going to move to Cleveland for 2003, I sought living quarters both cheap and close to the library downtown. At one point during my weeklong residency at the Motel 6 in Strongsville in fall 2002, I looked through the ads in the Plain Dealer to see what was available. One place in particular seemed right up my alley. I made an appointment to look after the library closed one day.

I can’t remember the name of the building, but it seemed right out of Fight Club. It was close to Cleveland State but at the end of the road before the freeway cut off downtown from the really bad neighborhoods. It seemed to be a flophouse for derelicts on their last legs—one of those places that looks like they keep the key to your room at the manager’s office by the front door.

The manager was a woman who didn’t seem to be much better off than the few residents I saw. The place was dingy, but not too junky, and darkly lit. It probably hadn’t received new paint, fixtures or carpeting in two decades. It was five blocks from the library, so I wouldn’t have to drive.

The manager said she had three rooms available, and I don’t remember whether she showed me all of them. I definitely remember the suite at the end of the hallway, however. You opened the door and were funneled down another hallway that led to a corner of the building. Turning right, you had the kitchen and living room. Turning left, the bedroom and bathroom—all furnished in early 1960s wood and lime green.

The setting sun flickered through the dismal orange flannel curtains, and I wasn’t sure what year they last were open. The view outside was of the building’s parking lot and the freeway.

I loved it. What better place to start one’s life over? But I had to say no, because I wasn’t ready to move yet. The manager said I should put down a deposit to secure the room, but I couldn’t see paying for two apartments for five months. I rolled the dice. It seemed a better-than-even chance that the suite still would be available when I was ready to pay in January.

Well, this happened and that happened, and I delayed my move to Cleveland. When I went back in March 2003, the suite was long gone.

The manager showed me a couple of other rooms, but I no longer had the same feeling about the place that I had earlier. I remember sitting on a bed in one of the dingy rooms thinking that it was much better suited to ending one’s life than starting it over, and I wasn’t ready to go there. I grabbed a Plain Dealer and began my search anew.