No. 715 – Deuces Are Wild

Performer: Aerosmith

Songwriters: Steven Tyler, Jim Vallance

Original Release: The Beavis and Butthead Experience

Year: 1993

Definitive Version: None

This song doesn’t quite fit the timeline, but I don’t know of a better song for this story, so here it is.

You know what a failed practical joke is? It’s when the target of the said joke thinks it’s funnier than the joker.

Not long after Beavis and Butthead invaded the sports department at the Journal, Brendan thought it would be a keen idea to have a little fun at me and Dave’s expense—not that we weren’t ripe for the plucking, mind you.

But Dave and Brendan, who was a sportswriter at the Journal, had a particular love-hate relationship. Brendan loved to rankle Dave and Dave hated it. In retrospect, it’s clear that Brendan had a bit of the bully in him, and Dave made himself an easier target than he needed to be by constantly taking the bait.

Sometime around the end of summer 1993, we were running a column photo with Card Corner of me and Dave in baseball caps. I remember that we took the photo after an overnight sports shift and I was pretty haggard—that was my sleep time, you know. And the photo clearly looks it, like I’d been up all night, which of course, I had.

Anyway, Brendan got someone in photo to take our column photos, blow them up and crop them into a B&B still to look as though Dave was Butthead and I was Beavis (in full air-guitar pose). Then he made a huge printout of the picture and taped it to the wall over my desk before a Friday shift (for which I’d arrive about 4). The idea was when I’d arrive, hilarity to ensue when I presumably erupted in anger.

Of course, and unfortunately for the prankster, I was the one who had more or less brought Beavis and Butthead to the sports department. He might as well have cropped me into a photo of Pearl Jam. Now’s that going to tick me off?

I walked in and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw it. Who did this? I asked. Bill was in the room and maybe a few others; I don’t fully recall. No answer. Who did this? There was some hemming and hawing but just when the joke was about to be paid off, I exclaimed: This is excellent! I love this!

D’OH!

Bill knew the joke had bombed miserably and admitted that it was Brendan. Bill said he thought I’d be ticked (and in typical Bill fashion, he did nothing to try and stop it—Bill was nothing if not an agent provocateur). I wasn’t. I was ready to pledge allegiance. I left it up and added the thought bubble over my Beavis head that said “Dah duh dunt. Dah duh dunt. Heheheheheh. That was cool.”

Dave was a bit annoyed when he found out about it. His problem was that he was Butthead, who had the bad name. I’m Butthead, Dave exclaimed. Yes, but Butthead is WAY smarter than Beavis, dude. It’s just a name.

The real punch line was that that failed attempt at getting my goat was something of an icebreaker between me and Brendan. Because we had to work together—and occasionally drank together—we had to get along to a certain extent over the years. But I think I had passed some test by laughing off the joke. I bought him a round at the White Horse that weekend, and we were always cool after that.