Monday, March 12, 2012

No. 815 – Champagne Supernova

Performer: Oasis
Songwriter: Noel Gallagher
Original Release: (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?
Year: 1995
Definitive Version: None

Like a lot of people, I jumped on the Oasis bandwagon in 1995, but I jumped off pretty quickly after that. Scott, on the other hand, never jumped on.

More to the point: Scott hated Oasis with the burning intensity of 10,000 suns. I think it had something to do with one of the 10,000 oafish comments either Liam or Noel Gallagher had said at the time or perhaps that everyone was comparing Oasis to The Beatles, which was a sacrilege given that his soon-to-be-bride Shani and her father loved The Beatles with the burning intensity of 10,000 suns.

Well, in April 1996, Scott and Shani were to be wed after being together for 3 years. As best man, I was essentially in charge of one thing the weekend of the wedding: ensuring that Scott made it to the church in one piece on time.

To fulfill a large part of that responsibility, I had Scott stay in my room the night before the wedding. Debbie who had driven over with mom the day before the wedding was in a different room, which was appropriate given the circumstances, as I’ll recount at a later date.

But I had other things I had to do, like make sure all the groomsmen had their tuxes, and that I had the wedding ring. Of course, I had to deliver a primo speech at the reception, and I had been practicing every day for, like, 3 months. I recited it over and over in the shower or while driving to work. I wanted it to sound off the cuff, when in fact it was anything but.

So a day before the wedding, I drove over to Marion, Ind., checked into the Days Inn and grabbed Scott for the day’s duties. We had to pick up our tuxes, and I had to drop off Scott for a massage while Shani and Jin (Shani’s maid of honor) got their hair and nails done. And we had to take flowers to the church before the rehearsal.

Then it was off to the rehearsal dinner at a location that eludes me now. The theme, in keeping with Scott and Shani’s interests, was Jimmy Buffettesque beach style, so we all had on Aloha shirts on and leis, and we had little umbrellas in our drinks.

It was the first and only time—besides the wedding and reception, of course—that mom was in the same room with Laura. And the inevitable introduction—even after 20 years—was awkward. Some slights are never forgiven.

Anyway, mom bought a bunch of disposable cameras to put on each table to take pictures of everyone. I was to collect them afterward and give to Scott and Shani for developing. My uncle Jack was in his glory—as usual—and took a picture of what he called infinity: He aimed two cameras at each other and said it was a picture of a picture of a picture of a picture … like rooms that have mirrors on opposite walls. It was a picture of infinity. I still have a copy from each camera, and it’s pretty much what you would think it would be—a hand holding a disposable camera with a flash.

Finally, it was time to break it up for the night. The bachelor party activities had been dispensed with the previous weekend, so there was nothing left to do but head back to the Days Inn. Scott asked if I minded if John, Shani’s younger brother, shared our room. Scott wanted him there that night. No problem, as long as he didn’t mind taking up floorspace. John brought his guitar and started to play while Scott admitted to starting to feel some nerves.

Well, before long John started to play this song, which he apparently just learned. And Scott reacted predictably. I HATE this song, he exclaimed.

So, John, being a good and proper younger brother(-in-law) took that as in invitation to play it even more vociferously. You’re nervous? I’m not giving you a break. He slowed down the song to overdramatize each chord while making sure to emphasize Liam’s whiny accent during the refrain “wear wur yu while wee wur getting hah.”

Scott just groaned and put a pillow over his head, which of course was an invitation for John to really pound sand up Scott’s butt by switching to Wonderwall. Arrrrrrrrrggggghhh!

Here was a man who had reached his limit on wedding stuff. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough for Scott.

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